Trapped in the Past

  I'm constantly reminded of something I read in a book once, about getting trapped in the "land of If Only". It's so unbelievably easy to start thinking about past disappointments, and think, "If only this had happened instead" or, "If only that hadn't happened". It's like the past could have been some happy, carefree time "if only" something had or hadn't happened.

    But when you look back all the time, you can't move forward. The past has passed, it's fixed like that now and no amount of wishing and sighing is going to change it. What can change is the present and future, but you can't see the changes if you're still looking backwards.

  Besides, yearning for a past that will never happen only rots you inside, and that messes with your present and future too. One has to learn to say, "Yes, that happened, and I hate it, but now it's time for something new to happen". Take a deep breath, dry your tears and deal with your frustration in a constructive way.

    Of course some days are still going to be bad. and that's okay. Moving on takes time, sometimes a lot of time. It's all a process. But the first step is to notice when you fall into the trap of "if only", and to step away from that. To focus on the present and future.