Part 5
One of the fantastic
things about being in the English countryside are the sheep. The Bible talks
about sheep so often and the deep meanings are lost on us because we just don’t
know anything about sheep. Sheep scare really easily and often without an
apparent reason. Sheep are constantly in need of food or other simple necessities.
Sheep often feel the need to wander around in places where it’s not safe just
because hey, why not.
It is a little
humbling to see the similarities between us and sheep. Something that was
hilarious to see was when one sheep would suddenly start running across the
field and then another would see this and follow. Within seconds, the entire
herd would be stampeding like fluffy marshmallows from one end of the field to
another for no reason other than the fact that one sheep was doing it. I know
for sure that people do this too and it’s just as ridiculous a sight.
The hilarity of sheep
aside, it was very powerful to see the sheep reacting to their shepherd. I was
just starting my walk one day when a truck drove down the path. Before the man
even stopped the vehicle, sheep from all over the vast field ran as quickly as
they could to the fence, just to be near him. This sight brought tears to my
eyes as I thought of myself running to Jesus for comfort and love, the scene
before me making it more real.
As soon as the
shepherd showed up, everything around them was forgotten and their focus was
completely on him. If he walked somewhere, the huge flock would struggle to
follow, pushing and shoving to be closest. I saw the shepherds out there in all
sorts of weather too and I just couldn’t believe their devotion to these stupid,
thankless animals.
When spring arrived,
the lambs began to appear and I saw even more pictures of God’s love for us in
them. I remember one day when it was super windy and I was struggling to get my
walk done as quickly as possible. As I walked up the path, I saw a large sheep lying
in the field, its back to me. It looked at me with a watchful eye, deemed me as
no threat and then looked away. I kept walking but then looked back at the
sheep and was startled to see a lamb curled up beside the sheep, completely
blocked from the wind and sleeping peacefully. God said, “Hey look, that’s like
you and me.”
It was really fun
watching the lambs, how playful they were and how unaware of danger they were.
I had several lambs come up to me one time and play tag until their mother
bleated at them. The lambs were just so small and helpless, yet so fearless
too. It was interesting to compare them to their mothers, who were so scared
all the time and it was sad seeing the lambs grow up into fear.
Another time, I was
with my roommates and one of them had a bag of something. They quickly
discovered that if they shook the bag, the sheep would think it was the shepherd
with a bag of food and some would come running. Imagine their disappointment
and confusion when they realized they had been led astray. I couldn’t help but
think about when we chase after idols and how empty it leaves us, every time.
Part 6
We had an open mic
night one time and once again, I was reminded that I had to be brave, open up and
just do stuff for my time at Capernwray to be fully useful. So I signed up to
read a poem. I remember the meal before the event; I ate half a hotdog and then
knew I didn’t dare eat anything else. My nervousness always sits in my stomach.
By the time I was sitting in the Stable where the event was held, I was shaking
from nervousness.
At this point in my
stay, still in first term, I wasn’t outgoing at all and only really hung out
with my roommates. I hadn’t even spoken to half the people in the Stable then
and though I had practiced my poem over and over, I kept imagining what a fool
of myself I was going to make. Yet I knew that I just had to do this, for some
reason. My writing was very important to me and sharing it was a good thing to
do.
I was the first one
up and though I shook like mad, I somehow pulled myself together, even shushed
the audience before starting. And it went so well! That was the first big crazy
thing that I did at Capernwray and it was one step of many to The Change that
would occur later on at Christmas break.
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