There You Were

 Some may deny your presence, for fear of a higher calling and a loss of freedom, but I know without doubt that you are here. You appear in every new budding flower, you soar above the clouds as a majestic eagle, and you are seen in the fearful expanse of space. 

 As a child, I knew of you but did not truly know. Still, you dwelled among my imagination, planting the seed of story within my very soul. I learned to create, a mimicry of your greatness.

 Starting to know you as I ventured out into the world for the first time was at first only a routine. To sing to you but not feel the praise inside, to read of your mighty deeds but not take them into my heart, all the very earliest of beginnings. Repetition of routine, laying down the foundation of a temple that will much later be established.

 Though I was a child and only spoke to you when thanking you for the good things, there you were, ever at my side. Though I could not see you and felt as though I had no need of you, there you were, encompassing my gentle heart.

 As the child began to fade and was replaced with a growing, learning young woman, there you were, speaking to me, “listen, dear one, follow my ways.” And as time spiralled onwards, I heard you and did begin to follow. Still, I did not truly understand what following you meant, only that it was right and to do so meant happiness.

 Only as I begun to understand that it was not always so, did I begin to love you. Our friendship then truly grew and I was content, glad for the way things had gone. There you were, a companion on warm, lazy days.

 Yet the sun was suddenly blotted out and my world turned cold. The green leaves turned brown and crumbled around me, so all I held were ashes. Rain fell without ceasing as I kneeled on the pavement, crushed beneath the weight. And yet, there you were.

 The darkness filled my heart and became who I was, and so I fled to the darkest valley. There was no joy, no bright colored flowers to comfort my spirit. Time and again, though I sought to flee the valley, I merely tumbled backwards, hurt even more. But there you were.

 The valley was, I thought, to be my final dwelling place. It molded me into a monstrous creature, avoiding the light at all cost lest it burn away the dark and show my soul for what it truly was. Clinging to my remaining gifts, one by one losing my grip as they slid like sand beneath my weakening fingers.

 Even the valley was blotted out, the darkness grew so much, and all that remained was my ravaged soul and my twisted thoughts. My gifts were gone, everything was gone and all that was left was my broken voice that called for help. And there you were.

 I lay broken on the stone, soul raw and bare, and it was then that true understanding began to form. Only then, with all else torn away, the very earth beneath me gone, could I know what it meant to trust you, for there you were. Only then could a true healing begin.

 As my broken wings mend and I fly from this land, I know I need not fear. Though waves threaten to come crashing over me, and storms rage around me, I am at peace, for there you are, encompassing me with love.