Capernwray Reflections

 Well, I'm back at home after six months in England and I'm going through culture shock. The light switches at home are so big and the toilets flush properly every single time. I just about tried to plug in my adapter when I needed to charge my laptop. Of course, there are lots of little things I'd forgotten about home, like how much better I sleep with fifty million blankets and pillows.

 I learned so much at Capernwray, wrote over 200 poems and a few short stories and filled nearly two journals too.

 The sense of community at Capernwray was something that took me all of first term to get used to, with the meals being super overwhelming for the first week. And yet I came to love hanging out with people, getting to talk with people about God and the stuff that's going on in our lives. Being at Capernwray taught me to be more open, because so many people are going through the same things and it was so encouraging every day.

 One of the most valuable things I learned at Capernwray was that faith is standing firm on what is true, even when feelings say other things. This was huge for me because my feelings controlled me so much before and my understanding of faith was very different before. So when there are times that my feelings tell me one thing, I'll hold it against the truth and stand faithful on the truth.

 While I was away, it was also amazing to see God working on my relationships at home, which weren't in the best condition when I left. As time progressed, my relationships began being restored into new things, which made coming home a lot easier. And I can take this knowledge, that God is the great restorer, and keep it with me for the future.

 And definitely the main thing that I learned at Capernwray was that no matter how broken and at the end of things you are, God is still able to redeem you and pull something beautiful out of the ashes. In fact, the point of complete brokenness is exactly where God loves to begin working, because everything else is stripped away. I came to England needing healing and needing to grow beyond the routines I had fallen into and God met me there to redeem me fully. I am so amazed at how far He's brought me and I know that the things He taught me at Capernwray will be with me for the rest of my life.

 Of course, I learned about a million other things too and I'm still processing a lot. A lot of what I've learned has been coming through my poems throughout the past six months and probably still keep coming through in months to come. It was the biggest blessing, being able to go and I'm so thankful for everything, for the amazing people I met, friends I made and the chance to simply sit with God, heal and grow.