Capernwray Thoughts: Part 13 and 14

Part 13

 There were a few weeks after Outreach where we just had a lot of fun while we waited to go home. One fun event was the end of the term talent show, which I had absolutely no intention of entering. We had a lot of amazingly talented musicians and singers, as well as many other gifts and entering a talent show seemed like the last thing I could win.

 However, as often happens, God just showed up one day and said “You should sign up. Read one of your stories.” To which I promptly laughed, said no and then actually thought about it. I knew I had nothing to lose, with this being my last Saturday there and it could really be fun. So I signed up, despite the fact that the list was already filling up with many talented names.

 At the practice, I just about quit after hearing all the other people go up before me. Stubbornly, I stuck to it and despite some silly nerves, finally went up on stage Saturday night in front of my peers. After the first paragraph I read, they were laughing, which actually really startled me because I didn’t think the story was that funny but suddenly, having such an amazing audience, I had so much fun.

 I actually hadn’t realized until the show that there would be judges and someone who would win, which did throw me off a little and for the rest of the show, I knew I wouldn’t get first place. But that was fine. I was amazed that I had actually gone up and done something like that. I compared myself from the first week in England to then, my last week and was utterly astounded at everything that God had done. I had come to England a timid, broken and weary person and now I was an energetic healed, hopeful dreamer.

 When they called my name as the winner of the talent show, it was beyond anything I had imagined and I just couldn’t believe it. That night was one of the best nights I’ve ever had and I’ll always have to smile thinking about how much fun that was.

Part 14

 Now I’m back home. When I flew home, I had all these hopes of how things would be different, both in my own behaviour but also in the people I knew. For a few very difficult weeks, I had to realize that while I had changed, everything else was the same and there was one horrible week or two where I went back to the person I was in September. Coming home from a taste of heaven is no easy task.

 But time keeps on going and I keep on changing. Within a month, everything I had learned at Capernwray began to kick in and my new adventures began. It has taken slow, difficult steps all the way and nothing is like I imagined it would be but it’s just as good because God is leading me.

 Am I now out changing the entire world, doing huge projects in His name? No and that’s perfectly okay. I’m simply walking through life, one step at a time, with God. It probably won’t ever be super easy and I’ve already been crawling through some valleys again but I know for certain I’m not alone. All those things I learned at Capernwray truly have set a foundation for me and I don’t doubt I’ll use what I learned in my six months in England for the rest of my life.