(One of my favorite songs is "Let Me Fall", sung by Josh Groban. This piece is inspired by that and also by the journey of growing up.)
Here I stand at the
edge of an endless drop, a cliff of uncertain futures, where sky, sea and land
are one. One slight step and I would fall forward from all I know, solid ground
and lovely repetition. It’s perfectly safe still, only speaking and not acting
but action takes courage and movement.
Yet the only movement
here is to fall and falling is not a natural thing. Letting go completely, to
be at the mercy of the winds, it isn’t safe; what’s more, it’s simply insane!
One small step, ground to space, such a simple thing but the hardest step I
might ever take. A swimmer doesn’t dive into unknown waters and a mere mortal
doesn’t step into empty air.
But what do I gain by
remaining here on this ledge, ever gazing out at the unknown I didn’t explore? I
know this ledge too well; I’ve grown as much as I can and my weak wings need
more room to strengthen and grow. Untested, for that is what the step means and
so, untrusting, though I’ve seen the birds fly. But I might fall!
What do I lost?
Nothing of value now, for this ledge has grown cold and grey, a lonely place of
dreaming. Sunrise, sunset, colors that never quite reach my face and I know there is more beyond! And I hear
her voice calling out sometimes, fain but persistent, desperate; “Come find me!
I fly free in great wild lands!”
Perhaps her voice is
a lie created by my imagination and I really can’t trust it. Day by day,
however, the ledge crumbles a little more and my wings ache deeper. Perhaps her
voice is true, a call from one of those possible futures, Self longing to
become. To fall is to lost control entirely but control has brought no color or
joy.
So I must fall, step off the ledge and hope
my wings will lift me up and let me dance in the air on my own. The shadows
aren’t pleased, but then again, they always were
jealous of my shining feathers. At least, with only a pinprick of courage, I
fall off the ledge into the great expanse of Possibility.
