Return of the Vlog

Here's a short trailer if you care to watch. I stopped updating my vlog six months ago after I moved to Alberta but I'm starting it up again!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR6ab6PaRFk

After England

 It’s been over a year since I flew to England and grew in leaps and bounds, a foundation set down for the rest of my life. I wrote a good long piece about all the things I learned there and it truly was an amazing, life changing experience. But I also have to say that the transition from Capernwray to Real Life was brutal.

 I’ve been thinking a lot about my home away from home lately, about my dear friends and those safe rolling green fields. There’s no other way to say it; Capernwray, the grounds, the community, it was a taste of heaven. For six months, I lived in this bubble of safety, growing in a shelter of perpetual learning and positive conversations. Every worship time together, singing and praising God in our unique ways was a lovely constant foreshadowing of how heaven will be. It was easy, it was safe, and inevitably, it came to an end.

 I was actually surprised that it took me a year before I started wishing every now and then that I was back in England. When I first left, I was ready to go, knowing the next step had to happen now and the timing was perfect. I was sad but not on a deep level and as soon as my next chapter began, Capernwray became a pleasant dream that shaped who I was, but I could keep it resting in my memory.

 We left our castle dreaming of big things, ready to face the world, bring Jesus to the masses and live life to the fullest every day. Our teachers told us leaving Capernwray would be hard and that real life would be tough but I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be to just live a normal life.

 God led me (in quite an obvious way) to work as a cashier in a college dining hall, which has been such a blessing in so many ways and it’s exactly where God wants me. I know He’s been using me to bless people, to help them in practical ways, and it’s amazing because these are future pilots, nurses, musicians and church ministry workers who God will use and I get to help them in that. But Capernwray didn’t prepare me for the thoughts that creep in; “you’re just a cashier”, “shouldn’t you be doing something big like these students?”, “you aren’t doing enough to change the world”.

 That’s been my dream, to change the world in a huge meaningful way. I want to help orphans, I want to comfort everyone who suffers from depression and anxiety. I want to share my story and tell people what God has done and is doing. I want to change the world.

 It was very easy at Capernwray to see that we were doing something grand and meaningful. We had flown to another country simply to be with God and learn about Him. We went out on Outreach and physically helped people out and they were so excited and thankful. We knew we were helping, being useful and God had used us.

 Real Life is way different. Most of the time you don’t know how God has used you and you won’t know until you get to Heaven (won’t that be the best thing?) And that has started to weigh me down every now and then; I’m only living life, going to work, coming home, and that’s that. Where’s the change? How am I being useful? Things start to go downhill from there once those thoughts start creeping in.

 But that’s the thing; I’m focusing on myself. I’m belittling God’s ability to use every single thing we do. Being a Christian is simply walking through life with God and He’ll do the most fantastic things, without me and my dreams getting in the way. He loves to take the little things and make Himself seen in them. All He asks is that I remain open to whatever He has in store and He will dream for me.

 This is Real Life, where we go to school or work, do “normal” everyday things. But if we’re walking with God, open to Him, then every “normal” thing matters. God uses it all for His glory and the hope is found in trusting that He is working things out, that He is using you. God isn’t confined to our grand actions; He works in the little things too. So I’m thankful I had my time in England but I’m also thankful to be in the Real World. This is where the adventure is. It’s hard, things fall apart, there’s a lot of laughter and tears and England was safer. And to be honest, changeable feelings aside, there’s no place I would rather be than where God has me, right here, right now.