1. Five Ways to Win My Heart

(A friend and I are doing a 30 day writing challenge, where we have a list of writing prompts and we write about each one in whatever way we want. I'll be posting mine here.)

1. Five Ways to Win My Heart

Words permanently inked upon parchments

Of imagination and lovely open dreams,

Revealing pieces of your dear heart

And begging to see my own thoughts.

Patience and an adventurous companion

With a love to match my own

For thousands of dusty forgotten portals,

Collecting all we can for safe keeping.

Acceptance and a love for my past

And the scars that map my sorrows,

Joy at redemption and sweet forgiveness,

Admiring the butterfly wings I possess.

Sharing the songs that mean the most,

That speak the loudest to your soul,

Causing you to want to leap and shout

Or sit and mourn unknown lost things.

But none of these matter that much,

They’re only nice things but not needed;

Rather, tell me of our Father’s ways

And let’s explore His love together.

New Year 2015

Fearfully, I looked inside my weary heart

And found an empty vessel thirsting deeply

To be filled by something grand and bold.

Many things, I consumed with wild abandon

But to my despair, I discovered tiny holes

In my hollow heart, so I was now a sieve

And nothing I consumed filled for long.

The hollow gnawed but no source satisfied,

Each drying up before joy was achieved,

So I sought across the land for a solution

Until He made Himself known with a smile.

“I see your heart is a sieve that longs

For filling and I’ve seen you searching.

How convenient, I have a river of love

That can never run out, twill always flow.”

Too good to be true but I surrendered

To His laughter and merciful, abundant waters

And we began to walk the road together,

So my heart is always full and gladly

I search no more, heart free of fear.

The Final World

(An utterly, utterly random piece but that's about all I can manage at the moment.)

 So it begins, the end of things I know, of these worlds so beautiful and full of secrets, a world I fought to protect. We were all warriors, writers of portals to other lands who would do anything to save our craft and perhaps that’s what brought the end upon us. Things certainly can’t stay the same forever but we thought they could and we fought hard.

 This beach was sunny once, yet the wind blows the trees angrily and the red waves ceaselessly crash upon the crystal sands. This shore never knew the meaning of cold but I shiver now, walking among memories of ink and binding, the laughter that we built. The others have destroyed each other over meaningless differences and their worlds reflect their fate.

 Had a certain executioner not fallen for soft blue eyes, my own world would also be a stormy ruin. Alas, the executioner himself was executed for his mercy and I’ll never forget that hint of a smile on his lips. Though my world is still intact, that means nothing when I’m utterly alone, walking away from the destruction of my people. Arrogance was our downfall; we wrote too much, thought we could create more than was necessary and jealously carefully accompanied each step we took.

 My world, a small island where peace should reign, is more of a prison now but it is a prison I accept. Despite the darkness in my heart, a pale light dwells there as well and I know that while most worlds were destroyed, mine is not the only one left. All books leading to my world are gone now and I shall ever be alone but I will watch over the other world. Perhaps the new race will be less foolish than ours; that’s all I can hope for.

 So, aging slowly but surely, I will sit every day by the pool that shows things unseen and watch the last world grow up. I can change nothing they do, can’t give them wisdom as they choose war or peace but I can protect them from the destruction my people brought to all the other worlds. When at last the light within consumes me and my eyes close for the last time, my lips shall whisper that last world’s name; “Earth.”

Falling

(One of my favorite songs is "Let Me Fall", sung by Josh Groban. This piece is inspired by that and also by the journey of growing up.)

 Here I stand at the edge of an endless drop, a cliff of uncertain futures, where sky, sea and land are one. One slight step and I would fall forward from all I know, solid ground and lovely repetition. It’s perfectly safe still, only speaking and not acting but action takes courage and movement.

 Yet the only movement here is to fall and falling is not a natural thing. Letting go completely, to be at the mercy of the winds, it isn’t safe; what’s more, it’s simply insane! One small step, ground to space, such a simple thing but the hardest step I might ever take. A swimmer doesn’t dive into unknown waters and a mere mortal doesn’t step into empty air.

 But what do I gain by remaining here on this ledge, ever gazing out at the unknown I didn’t explore? I know this ledge too well; I’ve grown as much as I can and my weak wings need more room to strengthen and grow. Untested, for that is what the step means and so, untrusting, though I’ve seen the birds fly. But I might fall!

 What do I lost? Nothing of value now, for this ledge has grown cold and grey, a lonely place of dreaming. Sunrise, sunset, colors that never quite reach my face and I know there is more beyond! And I hear her voice calling out sometimes, fain but persistent, desperate; “Come find me! I fly free in great wild lands!”

 Perhaps her voice is a lie created by my imagination and I really can’t trust it. Day by day, however, the ledge crumbles a little more and my wings ache deeper. Perhaps her voice is true, a call from one of those possible futures, Self longing to become. To fall is to lost control entirely but control has brought no color or joy.

 So I must fall, step off the ledge and hope my wings will lift me up and let me dance in the air on my own. The shadows aren’t pleased, but then again, they always were jealous of my shining feathers. At least, with only a pinprick of courage, I fall off the ledge into the great expanse of Possibility. 

Dinosaur Museum Musings

 Finally, after living in Alberta for two months, I finally went on an adventure to see one of Alberta's exciting sites. With my grandparents and my aunt, we took a drive down to Drumheller to see the dinosaurs at the Royal Tyrrell museum, which might sound boring to some of you but it was utterly fascinating. Despite feeling the whole time like Ross Geller from Friends should be there to give a tour, the experience was amazing.

  As soon as we entered the first enormous chamber, with dimmed lights and towering dinosaur models, I was filled with the greatest sense of awe. With my trusty camera in hand, I drifted in a near daze from one item to the next. You always know dinosaurs were big creatures but only when you stand underneath their magnificent skeletons do you really get a sense of what they were like.

 The more I saw, the sense of awe was joined by a profound sense of sadness and loss. In a way, I felt like I was walking over the grave of a lost civilization, one that was grand and mighty long ago but has been dead and gone for a very long time now, with their bones put up on display for speculation. Somehow it just didn't seem fair and I started trying to work out in my head why on earth God would create and then destroy these magnificent creatures.

 My writer's mind began making up ideas such as "perhaps the dinosaurs were proud and arrogant and deserved to be wiped out" which is just silly because they were animals like any other animal and can't be like that. Still, I couldn't get past the question of Why; why was an entire species, not just one breed, created and then utterly wiped out? There had to be a point! God doesn't do anything without a reason.


 But as people near me talked about the dinosaurs and I read descriptions from scientists about what they had discovered, I thought about all the scientists who had become Christians while trying to prove their theories correct. I thought of the evidence dinosaurs give concerning the flood and many other things and how even now, people are still looking at the dinosaurs and asking questions. 

 Is that a good enough reason? The point of the dinosaurs was to be wiped out so that for years and years, people would look at their bones and ask questions that might lead them to know God? Might sound quite sad and depressing and yet how fantastic is that? Even after they're long gone, their existence is giving God glory! And that's why God does anything and lets things happen; it's all to bring Him glory.




 I have a lot of hopes and dreams for my existence. I'd love to become a published author and be world famous and have my name on a thousand books, entertaining the nations. Yet God could also call me to be obscure, live and die and have that "be it"; I need to keep on laying my dreams down before Him. I think of Christians all around the world who are dying for their faith and here I am sometimes being angry at God for the dreams He hasn't fulfilled. The dinosaurs didn't have a choice in their attitude towards things but I do. Could I be obedient to the point of death? I really don't know. Could you?

After the Tempest

Little scraps of dream thoughts

Against a starry expanse of fear

Drifting among the sea of my heart.

To leap with angel’s wings

Or glide in murky waters of loss,

Seeking heart’s desire among despair,

Absurdity the only constant chord.

The world is much bigger now

As I shed this first skin

And rise from grey smoky ashes

To the blue of summer skies.

Time over sand, still I rise

Once more after the tempest.

A Sky Full of Stars

(I have internet at home finally! Yay! So one of the great things about living in Alberta is getting to sit out on my porch at night with my aunt and just stare up at the great starry night sky and dream about the future together. This poem came along after one such evening.)

Within a single moment in the cold

Night air under a sky full of stars,

Every pain and fear fades like mist,

Leaving me here looking only up

In silent wonder and astonished awe.

So silent is the night sky, so safe,

A moment apart from normal time

And gazing on this vast expanse

My heart can dream without fear,

Surpassing every boundary doubts raise.

Your great starry blanket rests over me

Giving more freedom than I could imagine

And with awe I give all that I am

To simply being amazed at who You are

And the places You can take me;

Possibilities more vast than the stars

In the untameable, wild night sky.